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  FLASHLIGHT - June 2008           Edition No: 74

Past editions can be viewed on http://www.asiaconference.biz

The 2008 Asian Marine Insurance and Surveying Forum
13 & 14 November 2008
Novotel Century Hong Kong Hotel

Theme 'The carriage and care of steel cargoes'

Early bird rates available.

CPD Certificates, accepted by all Marine Surveying Professional Institutes, will be issued upon request.  (Delegates earn 1 IIMS CPD point.)

Those interested in attending should contact Mrs Lulu Zuniga-Carmine at Asia Conference Ltd: marine@asiaconference.biz

Those interested in giving a paper at the conference should contact Mike Wall at mikewall@pacific.net.hk
(Speakers earn 3 IIMS CPD points.)

******

Quote of the month ...

"Life is a long lesson in humility."
    James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937)


CONTENTS (for full stories, select a headline)

At the Bow

FLASHLIGHT is a free monthly emailed newsletter circulated to more than 5,000 people involved in marine surveying around the world.  It is circulated to anybody who wishes to receive a copy, eg, Marine Surveyors, P&I Clubs, their correspondents, Underwriters, Professional Institutes, Admiralty Lawyers, etc.  It is a collation of articles relevant to our profession taken from various publications together with contributions from readers.  Please pass it on to any of your contacts who you feel might be interested in receiving it.  If you do not wish to be included in the circulation list, please contact the Editor at the email address below.  Letters, opinions and articles relating to our profession are welcomed for the newsletter.

New readers this month:

Captain Adil H. Mistry, Independent Marine Surveyors Inc., Houston, Texas, USA


[Top]

Spindrift

Officer killed in ship explosion

Ship owner Ellon Hinengo notified India’s Director General of Shipping that there was an explosion in the air conditioning compartment of its 2,301dwt general cargo ship Bay Island on 10 June. The ship’s second engineer was killed while the chief engineer, a workshop assistant and two other crew members were seriously injured and have been sent to hospitalised. The Bay Island was alongside Haddo Jetty in Port Blair, Andamans at the time of the incident. The DGS has directed the Mercantile Marine Department Kolkata to conduct an enquiry.

Hebei Spirit Officers cleared

A SOUTH KOREAN court has cleared the master and first officer of the Hebei Spirit on charges of negligence following an accident involving a barge hitting the tanker.

Seosan court in South Korea however did find the tug captains guilty and sentenced one to three years imprisonment and the other to one year.

Despite allegations by Samsung’s lawyers that the Hebei Spirit was at fault in not getting out of the way, the court disagreed. The barge operator Samsung Heavy Industries was fined Won 30 M ($29M), according to reports.

Last December, around 12,000 tonnes of crude oil was spilled following a collision between the oil tanker owned by the Hong Kong-registered Hebei Spirit Shipping and a barge owned by Samsung Heavy Industries in waters off Taean County, South Chungcheong Province, blackening beaches and fish farms along the west coast. The barge carrying a crane separated from its two tugboats and collided with the tanker.

More than 700 missing as ferry sinks

TWENTY-EIGHT survivors of a ferry that capsized off Sibuyan Island in The Philippines have been found on a lifeboat in a coastal village south-east of Manila, local radio reports said today.
Survivors now number 32 coast guard officials said, but added that more than 700 passengers were still missing. Four have been confirmed dead. The ferry Princess of the Stars operated by Sulpicio Lines was carrying 745 passengers. The 23,824 gt ship ran into Typhoon Fengshen and sank on Saturday after departing Manila for the central port of Cebu. The Coast Guard and the Navy have commenced search and rescue efforts after being suspended for the night. An inspection of the submerged vessel had not found signs of life. Navy spokesman Eduardo Arevalo said a rescue vessel has been despatched to the area with more divers and cutting equipment, AFP has reported quoting a local radio station DZBB. Speaking to coast guard and civil defence authorities yesterday Philippines President Gloria Arroyo has demanded to know why the ferry was allowed to sail in the typhoon.

(With thanks for Fairplay Daily News: news@fairplay.co.uk)

In brief ....

MARS mission: the long awaited Military Afloat Reach & Sustain ability (MARS) project to build a new generation of Royal Fleet Auxiliary tankers has taken a big step forward with a government announcement of a  shortlist of companies to finalise the design and build requirements. Defence minister Baroness Taylor said Fincantieri of ltaly, Hyundai of Korea, Navantia of Spain, and BAE Systems with BMT DSL and DSME are in the bidding for the contract.

Near - miss probe: the marine Accident Investigation Branch and the Maritime & Coastguard Agency's enforcement unit have launched a  joint probe into a near miss between a cruise ship and a car carrier in the Channel last month. The Italian flagged Costa Atlantica and the Panamanian registered Grand Neptune were reported to have had a close quarters situation in the Dover Strait on 15 May.

Swift action: Nautilus UK has praised the Cyprus maritime authorities for a swift response to complaints by a member about alleged bullying of crew members onboard his ship. Assistant general secretary Mark Dickinson said the administration had responded positively and effectively after receiving the evidence from the vessel.

Gas death:  an investigation was launched following the death of three  dock workers onboard a cargo ship in Port Everglades last month. Officials in the Florida port said they feared the men died when a gas thought to be argon escaped from a containerised gas tank onboard the Antigua & Barbuda vessel Madeleine.

 Freight service ; the Isle of Sark Shipping Company is set to open a new all freight service between Guernsey and Sark this month using a British built vessel capable of carrying 70 tons of cargo in four 20 ft containers. The service will initially run twice a week also calling at the French port of Dielette.

Agency right: the TUC has welcomed Government agreement to give the UK's 1.4m agency employed workers the same rights to pay and leave as full- time time after 12 weeks in a post. General secretary Brendan Barber said it would give temporary staff protection they deserve.

Emission call:: the TT Club has called for measures to protect crane drivers in ports from harmful emissions from ship stacks. It wants to see proper risk assessments of crane cabins, with air quality measurements and filter systems.

French stoppages:  ferry sailing from ports including Calais, Dunkirk and St Malo were disrupted last month by fishing vessel crews protesting about the lack of  French government support in the face of rising fuel prices.

Stena boom: Stena line has announced an 18% increase in passenger numbers on its North Sea routes in the first quarter of this year, along with  13 growth in the Irish Sea.

Coastal call: a second call for tenders to establish shortsea shipping routes in the North Sea area has been launched by the European Union. The move follows an unsatisfactory initial call by the UK, Norway, Sweden, Belgium, the Netherlands, Denmark and Germany in 2007 when just four projects were submitted. Applications must be submitted to the governments by 30 September with details of proposed routes, their economic viability, a credible environmental assessment and information on maritime and land based inter modal transport logistics from the ports involved.

SeaFrance arrival:  work has begun in Dunkirk on modifications to SeaFrance's latest cross Channel ferry following court action against seafarers 'unions that had occupied the vessel in Marseilles during an industrial dispute. The SeaFrance Moliere, until now the SNCM ferry Jean Nicoli, is undergoing a £10m makeover to increase capacity to 1,200 passengers and 110 lorries and 660 cars. The vessel is due to enter service early next month and will replace the smaller Renoir and Manet.

Breaking call: . a major French maritime union has called for a European ship demolition industry to ensure higher health and safety standards in the breaking sector. The CGT union confederation has warned the European Commission that conditions in most scrapping facilities around the world are deplorable that extra capacity is needed to cope with the removal of single hull tankers and nuclear submarines.

Dieppe discount:  the French ferry operator LD Lines has opened what is the first challenge to the abolition of duty free goods with a discount shop at its Dieppe terminal for English passengers taking the ferry to Newhaven. The shop called 'The Wave' sells wines, spirits and perfumes which are said to be 20% below the prices of its competitors.

Brittany traffic:  Ferries last year carded almost 1m passengers on its services between Caen-Puistreham-Ouistreham and Portsmouth, slightly down on the previous year. However, freight volumes rose 4% and the company says the first quarter of 2008 shows an increase in passenger traffic.

French action. France's powerful FNPD CGT port workers' union last month stepped up industrial action in protest at privatisation plans. The stoppages have been increasingly paralysing the country's ports, resulting in severe delays especially in the seven main gateways.

Shortsea support: in a major statement on the environment, the French government has announced plans to contribute up to C80 to foster the development of short sea shipping lines between France ' Spain, Portugal and Italy. Ministers aim to double the market share of freight carried to and from ports by means other than road transport and secure a 25% increase by 2012 in the volume of freight carried by other means than by road.

French training: France's biggest shipping company, CMA CGM, has announced plans to launch a new 'fast track' officer training scheme this September. Due to run at the Marseilles maritime college, the course involves a two year study programme leading to a deck officer certificate after 12 months of seatime and an additional year to prepare for an unlimited tonnage master's licence.

Chinese crew : the total number of Chinese seafarers has passed the 1.55m mark, according to the national Xinhua news agency The figure includes 510,000 working in the shipping industry, and more than 1 m working on Chinese river vessels. China ranks fourth in the 'league table' of maritime labour supplying countries.

HD links : Channel Islands operator HD Ferries has opened a new link between Saint Malo and Guernsey, in addition to its daily crossing to Jersey. The French company says it will increase its services from Saint Malo this year and assess the possibility of new Cherbourg-based routes in 2009 following its unsuccessful attempts last year.

Tug to war.. unions have suspended strike action in a dispute over conditions on tugs operating in the French port of Le Havre. The move carne after the port director told the operator SNRH that it does not employ enough people to comply with minimum safety needs, including daily and weekly rest periods.

Norwegian probe: unions, employers and the national maritime authority have set up a special working group to examine crewing issues in the Norwegian ferry industry. Items on the agenda include the use of low-cost foreign crews.

Greek growth. the Greek-controlled merchant fleet jumped by almost 20% in 2007 to reach a new record of 261m dwt, according to new figures. The national register grew by 228 ships of 22.8m dwt over the past year.

Boxship officer blamed for collision with a BP tanker

Accident investigators have called for the second officer on a German-flagged container ship to be censured for his actions in the build up to a collision with a BP tanker in December 2006.

A report on the case in which the 508TEU Vera struck Isle of Man-flagged British Cygnet off the Danish coast - says the container ship had breached four sections of the collision prevention regulations.

The feeder container vessel breached the ballast tanks of the BP tanker - which was sailing in ballast at the time of the incident - but there was no pollution from either ship.

A report published by the Gennan marine accident investigation organisation last month blames the Verb's second officer for the incident, which occurred the Fynshoved deep water channel off Denmark

Investigators said the officer - who was alone on the bridge - had followed an erratic course, entering and re-entering the channel and losing steerage of the vessel when he put the rudder hard to starboard and simultaneously reduced pitch.

The report praises the master of the BP tanker for his attempt to avert the collision, but says attempts to contact the Vera using VHF were unsuccessful and the German ship's second officer had failed to understand the significance of five short and rapid blasts on the tanker's whistle.

The report says the Vera had no mechanical problems with steering and propulsion and concludes the decision by the second officer to re- enter the channel was the primary reason for the collision.

The report notes that several opportunities to test the Vera's crew for alcohol had not been taken up, and it suggests that the Danish authorise should consider introducing testing procedures for crews involved in accidents in its territorial waters.

Distracted officer is blamed for tanker grounding

POOR communications between a ship's pilot and the vessel's master and watchkeeping officer have been blame for the grounding of an aframax tanker of  Denmark year.

The 105,817 dwt Minerva Concert suffered extensive bottom damage after straying off course in the Great Belt traffic separation scheme during a voyage from Denmark to Rotterdam.

A report published last month by the Danish Maritime Administration (DMA) highlights poor communication and co-operation between the pilot and senior officers, as well as lack of attention and precision by the pilot.

The crew of the Greek flagged tanker had drawn up a voyage plan but this was not was not presented to the pilot master, and the pilot switched from the deep water route to the Hatter Barn TSS, which has a minimum depth of 15 m.

Investigators said the pilot may have missed a warning buoy because his view had been obstructed by a deck crane. But the report also notes that his positioning on the bridge was not stationery.

It also higblights the OOWs lack of attention to safe navigation, with investigations revealing that he had been distracted by a phone conversation with the third engineer.

IMO alert as crew death rate rises

THE SHIPPING industry must guard against complacency in the face of an upturn in casualties, International Maritime Organisation leader Mitropoulos warned last month.

Speaking to the opening session of the IMO's maritime safety committee, Mr Mitropoulos warned of disconcerting evidence of increases in the accident rate and the number of lives lost at sea

The IMO secretary-general said improved compliance with safety rules had seen the average number of annual ship losses fall from more than 200 in the 1980s to less than 100 in recent years.

'This most welcome trend has resulted in less lives lost at sea, less pollution of the marine environment and a general improvement in the performance of shipping, with billions of tonnes of cargo transported safely and without incident every day,' he added.

But, Mr Mitropoulos warned, the industry should not be complacent or satisfied with past results and should remain 'ever vigilant so as to detect any sign of potential divergence from favourable trends'.

He said that the operational and structural concerns over container ships provided examples of where complacency has been allowed to creep in or where new work should be undertaken.

Referring to the Marine accident Investigation Branch report on the loss of the MS( Napoli, Mr Mitropoulos said h( hoped this was an isolated case But, he stressed, the IMO had 'time and again, unequivocally stated that, under no circumstances, should commercial considerations be given precedence over the safety of life at sea and, in no way, should shipmasters be prevented, induced or restricted by owners, charterers, shipping companies or any other persons from taking or executing any decision which, in their professional judgement, is necessary for safe navigation and for the protection of the marine environment.

The IMO leader also warned, that while bulk carrier losses remain on a long-term downward trend, eight bulkers were lost last year with the death of 39 crew members.

And recently released statistics from the International Union of Marine Insurance had indicated worrying recent upward trend' in shipping losses. 'Moreover, based on data compiled since the beginning of 2008, we have come to the disconcerting conclusion that, so far this year, the number of lives lost through marine casualties gives rise to serious concern as, in comparison with the average number for recent years, it is worrying high,' Mr Mitropoulos said.

MSC Napoli - What the MAIB is wanting

THE MAIB report on the loss of the MSC Napoli makes a series of recommendations targeted at classification societies, shipowners and the vessel's operator, Zodiac Maritime Agencies.

It calls for the International Association of Classification Societies to review the URS 11 longitudinal strength standard to ensure in particular that hull girder strength and buckling checks are carried out on all critical sections along the entire length of the hull.

It also urges IACS to consolidate into the effect of whipping on hull structures and incorporate the results into future revisions of ft unified requirements.

'And IACS should ,research and review' the technological aids available for masters to measure hull stresses at sea and in port.

The report recommends that the international Chamber of Shipping should work with IACS on the development of the forthcoming code of best practice for the container industry - particularly in respect of operational limits on hull stress, and the objective assessment and reporting of fatigue cracking.

The MAIB said the code should also address the need to establish the weight of containers before loading onto a ship, and the importance of safe speed and prudent seamanship when navigating in heavy weather.

It also urged Zodiac Maritime to review " safety management and auditing procedures to ensure that guidance to its masters on speed in heavy weather reflects the lessons learned from the MSC Napoli incident.

The company should also ensure that shore management consults with classification societies on the criticality of any defective or unserviceable machinery onboard vessels.

And the Zodiac is also recommended to ensure that its master are fully aware of the requirement to inform embarked pilots of all factors effecting manoeuvrability or stability

(With thanks to the Shipping Telegraph, journal of NAUTILUS)

[Top]

Contributions

Surveyors' Equipment - miniature cameras

There is a  multitude of equipment out there on the market to help marine surveyors do their jobs, eg, moisture content meters, ultrasonic thickness gauging equipment, ultrasound hatch cover testing equipment, thermometers, liquid level gauges, paint thickness gauges, etc.

However, one of the most recent developments, and in my view one of the most useful, is the development of the mini camera.  There are many out there on the market and it is not too difficult to rig them up to an LCD screen or a laptop computer.

We are using a small camera which has its own LCD lights, is watertight and has a focal length of about 6".  By fitting it to a flexible gooseneck and extendable pole you can get into those inaccessible spaces you always wanted to investigate (I'm talking about ships and boats here guys!).  The equipment uses AA batteries which can be rechargeable.  We have found that you can get about 2 hours use out of the equipment before needing recharging.

We recently had a case where thickness gauging of a steel hull had given satisfactory results but there were indications of internal hull corrosion.  We connected up the camera to the laptop and went under fuel tanks, etc, to find that the stringer and frame face plates were severely corroded and wasting away.  Using video capture on the laptop and taking stills from the video we were able to show the problem to the owner and builders.  We were also able to check the condition of sideshell valves which were inaccessible.

We had another case where a GRP live aboard boat appeared to have peeling antifouling.  Using the camera on the gooseneck and extension pole we were able to show that this was only a slime film which was breaking up in places.

They are particularly useful in small craft.  We have carried out internal inspections of tanks via small apertures and the internal condition of masts.

The equipment is relatively inexpensive.  As you can charge for the service, it gives a good return.

Mike Wall


[Top]

Midships

None this month.

[Top]

Scuttlebut

ISPS

See ** Epistles **

******

Conflicts continue to develop with respect to the implementation of the ISPS Code.  Each month, we will be listing some of the ways that the code interferes with normal ship operations which in some cases could be considered as hazardous together with transgressions of interest .....

[Top]

Insurance News

Insurers slam decline in competence standards

FRESH concern over crew competence have been raised by another major marine insurer.

The Swedish P&I Club has voiced alarm at a sharp rise in both the number and the cost of claims over the past year.

In a report on the 2007 underwriting year, the club says it amazed and equally worried' at the increase in claims resulting from navigational errors - grounding in particular.

Over the past two years the frequency of grounding has risen by 25% and the average cost of grounding-related claims has soared by some 290%.

The report also warns of similar increases in the cost and frequency of machinery claims is not just on the navigational side that we see an impact of reduced experience and competence" it adds situation is also beginning to take its toll on machinery claims.

'It is not uncommon that chief engineers and/or first engineers fail to understand the relevance of alarms going off in the engine room' the report states.

'Equally common is that engine personnel do not know how to properly operate some of the equipment onboard. As a result, incorrect action or actually no action at all may be the consequence.'

The club said there is a clear correlation between the increase in claims and the short age of experienced seafarers but warned that not enough is being done to reverse this ominous trend.

The report stresses: 'Even though the industry has been aware of the problem for some time, it appears as if the situation has not been adequately addressed * '

It points out that the high-profile tanker and cruise sectors have better safety records than other segments of the industry 'Sadly enough, the only real and obvious reason for the difference in quality seems to be the higher demands from the customers; it adds.

The Swedish club said the past year had underlined the importance of bridge and engineroom resource management training - ,probably one of the most useful tools to have when trying to reduce the number of costly claims'.

It also voiced concern at the 'truly deplorable quality in workmanship's some ships leaving new shipbuilding yards'popping up like mushrooms around the world'.

And the report says there is alarming evidence that some shipowners are opting for seeond, or third, best alternatives as a result of long waiting times for spares.

(With thanks to the Shipping Telegraph, journal of NAUTILUS)

Wig & Gown

None this month.

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Education and Training

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself! 
(Don Robertson)

You can find more short courses in the USA in the Marine Surveyor's Web Site at http://www.marinesurveyor.com/educate.html

[Top]

Epistles

US treatment of seafarers is nothing short of a scandal.

1 WRITE with reference to the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) requirements for British merchant seamen joining ships in the United States of America. 1 am sure you are aware of the way British seamen are being treated by the CBP, but 1 wish to advise you of my present predicament for use in any representation you may wish to make to the authorities regarding this matter.

1 returned to my ship, the cruise liner Diamond Princess, yesterday in San Pedro, California. 1 had arrived in the United States the previous day by air at Los Angeles Airport (LAX). 1 was issued with an 1-94 valid until 29 May, after passing through the Secondary Inspection.

The ship arrived in San Pedro yesterday and will remain in port until 7 May undergoing a wet dock.

The CBP will not issue me with an 1-95, effectively incarcerating me onboard the ship. 1 shall not be able to go ashore until the ship arrives in Vancouver on 10 May.

Yesterday, 1 moved the ship from berth 93 to berths 91/92. On the 5 May, 1 have to take the ship into the turning basin and turn her around and return to the same berth. On the same day we shall be hosts to the Departments of the Army and Air Force and other agencies, including the CBP, who wish to carry out an exercise to train on Weapons of Mass Destruction terrorism tactics.

In other words, 1 am being trusted to manoeuvre a 116,000 tonne ship in the confines of San Pedro harbour, host an anti terror exercise, but cannot be trusted to go ashore, presumably in case 1 desert or have something to do with terrorism.

1 am not the only one affected by this ruling. All joining crew members are under the same restriction, with the exception of United States citizens.

The ship has been employed on a 15-day cruise cycle between Los Angeles and the Hawaiian Islands for the winter. During this time, the CBP in Los Angeles has refused to issue crew members on their first trip with Princess Cruises an 1-95 for 90 days. The only port these crew members could go ashore was in Ensenada, Mexico, where the ship docked between 1400 and 2000 every 15 days. The CBP in Honolulu initially took a different view and issued 1-95s to crewmembers. This raised issues with not only with the ship but between the two CBP offices. Honolulu eventually capitulated to the wishes of the CBP in Los Angeles and stopped issuing these 1-95s. Separately, all crew members who joined in Los Angeles were not issued with an 1-95 until the ship returned to Los Angeles and so could not go ashore in the five Hawaiian ports on that cruise.

There are presently 38 crew members detained onboard, that is those who have not completed 90 days onboard. There are a further 47 detained who detained who joined yesterday,

A further 200 are due to join during the wet dock. Few of the crew members, with approximately 42 nationalities in the crew, are British. Nevertheless, the ship is registered in Bermuda.

Earlier this year I joined the ship in H Honolulu, Hawaii, via Honolulu. On the trip out I had to enter the United States in Los Angeles at LAX. I was held in the Secondary Inspection for so long that I missed my connecting flight to Honolulu.

Princess Cruises has been unable to influence the CBP with any of the above issues. I believe representation has been made concerning the issues by the CLIA, particularly with the treatment of senior officers by the CBP in the United States generally.

I first visited San Pedro 41 years ago onboard the British tanker Maioja, operated by Trident Tankers, a subsidiary of P&O. We were carrying a full load of aviation fuel. We discharged in San Pedro, San Francisco and Vancouver. It was shortly prior to our arrival in San Pedro that it was learned we had originally, been destined to carry this cargo to Vietnam; the year was 1967.

As a normal British citizen, I could have arrived in the United States with my family under the Visa Waiver scheme and happily gone off to Disneyland and Universal Studios without a problem. Unfortunately, it appears I am not a normal citizen; I am a seaman.

(This letter was in the letters section of the Shipping Telegraph, journal of NAUTILUS)

[Top]

People

New President Appointed

Captain Richard Coates, FNI has been elected to the presidency of the Nautical Institute (NI) at the organisation's annual general meeting, held in Antwerp.

Captain Coates, who succeeds Captain Nicholas Cooper as President of the international organisation, will serve for two years.

[Top]

Books and Videos

'Offshore Support Vessels:  A practical guide.' by Gary  Titchie (ISBN 1 870077 88 1) Cost GBP45, published by the Nautical Institute.

*****
'Shipping Out:  A merchanct Sailor's Tale' by Gerry Evans (ISBN 978 0 9582636 5 8) Published by Sarah Bennett Books.  Cost GBP10.  From wwwmainmastbooks.co.uk

******

'Tranp to Queen' by John Treasure Jones (ISBN 978 0 7524 4625 7)  Cost GBP19.99 from Tempus Publishing, Cirencester Road, Chalfor, Stroud, Gloucestershire GL6 8PE.  www.thehistorypress.co.uk.

******

'Atlantic Escorts' by David Brown (ISBN  978 184415 7020) Cost GBP19.99 from Seaforth Publishing.  www.seaforthpublishing.com

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Conference Reports

Our apologies.  We have asked various member so the board of NAMS for a short summary of the conference held in April in New Orleans.  However, this has not been forthcoming.  We believe this to be because there are some major changes in the wind.


(ED: If you intend to attend a conference which you believe would be of interest to our readers, we would be grateful to receive a short synopsis.)

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IMO Conventions

IMO regularly updates its web page with new and amended conventions:  http://www.imo.org/

Here you can browse through the various publications that are available and buy those which interest you. To navigate the publications you can either select one of the categories or use the advanced search.

For those of you who might also be interested, UK M Notices are available at:  www.mcagency.org.uk

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Future Events

13 & 14 November 2008.  The 2008 Asian Marine Insurance and Surveying Forum.  Novotel Century Hong Kong Hotel.  Theme 'The carriage and care of steel cargoes'

Those interested in attending should contact Mrs Lulu Zuniga-Carmine at Asia Conference Ltd: marine@asiaconference.biz


(Ed:  If you have a marine related conference coming up, let us know so that we can mention it.)


[Top]

Web Sites

FOR OUR REGULAR READERS, NO NEW WEB SITES THIS MONTH:

We are no longer publishing our list of useful web sites for marine surveyors due to the eventual size of the email being sent out.  If you wish to receive the list, please contact the editor at the email address below.

If your (marine surveying) company has a web site, let us know and we will try to mention it.  Below are some web pages we believe might be useful to marine surveyors:
 

[Top]

From the Poop Deck

 An 80-year old Irish man goes to the doctor for a check-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy,' and that's why. I'm in such good shape.' I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of whiskey and all is well.'

'Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"

"Who said my Dad's dead?"

The doctor is amazed, "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old", says the Old Irish golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Irish and he's a golfer, too.

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"

"He's 118 years old", says the Old Irish golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

*****

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I  think I've got that right, now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years".

Tiger says, "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play  the ball towards his voice."

"But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball  towards his voice."

Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Stevie replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. That a problem?"

Woods thinks about it and says, " I can afford that,  OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Pick a night"

*****

About one billion:
 
The next time you hear a politician an use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising
agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in
one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were Living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

[Top]

Disclaimer:  Articles and reports reflect the views of the individuals who prepared them, and, unless indicated expressly in the text, do not necessarily represent the views of the editor.  Whilst every effort has been made to ensure that the information in this publication is accurate, the editor makes no representation or warranty, expressed or implied, as to the accuracy, completeness or correctness of such information.  The editor accepts no responsibility whatsoever for any loss, damage or other liability arising from any use of this publication or the information which it contains.  The contents of the publication are the responsibility of the editor alone.

News, views, enquiries, suggestions, articles and letters for inclusion in future editions of FLASHLIGHT may be sent to:

Mike Wall
Tel:  +852 2259 3150
Fax: +852 2259 3151
Email: mikewall@pacific.net.hk

 
     
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