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  FLASHLIGHT - August 2006            Edition No: 56

(Past editions can be viewed on http://www.asiaconference.biz)

Quote of the month

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
Sidney J Harris

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The 2006 Asian Marine Insurance and Surveying Forum -
'Marine Surveyors - Guardians of Quality Shipping'

will be held on 12 & 13 October 2006
at the J W Marriott Hotel, Mumbai, India
(Training Workshop also available on 11 October.
Programme available on request)

Early bird rates available.

CPD Certificates, accepted by all Marine Surveying Professional Institutes, will be issued upon request.  (Delegates earn 1 IIMS CPD point.)

Those interested in attending should contact Ms Astor Tsang at Asia Conferences: marine@asiaconference.biz

Those interested in giving a paper at the conference should contact Mike Wall at mikewall@pacific.net.hk

(Speakers earn 3 IIMS CPD points.)

******

Marine Surveyor wanted

Individual will preferably have:

- At least 5 years international sea-going experience.
- Minimum five years experience as chief or second engineer on ocean going ships
- Degree in nautical studies, marine or mechanical engineering.
- Diploma in marine surveying or enrolment in same.
- Must be able to conduct Hull & Machinery, Condition Surveys and other Technical Investigations and Surveys on many types of vessels from small craft to large merchant ships.
- Familiar with International Maritime Organisation codes and standards/procedures, and International Shipping regulations.
- Computer Literacy in word processing and spreadsheets.
- Good communication skills in English.
- Should be self motivated with some managerial skills and a hands-on attitude.
- Must be prrepared to travel at short notice anywhere in the Asia Pacific region.

This is an opportunity for a committed marine surveyor to grow within a well established company in the far east.  Candidates who do not fulfil all of the above requirements will be considered as training will be provided.

Reply to editor.

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CONTENTS (for full stories, select a headline)

At the Bow

FLASHLIGHT is a free monthly emailed newsletter circulated to more than 5,000 people involved in marine surveying around the world.  It is circulated to anybody who wishes to receive a copy, eg, Marine Surveyors, P&I Clubs, their correspondents, Underwriters, Professional Institutes, Admiralty Lawyers, etc.  It is a collation of articles relevant to our profession taken from various publications together with contributions from readers.  Please pass it on to any of your contacts who you feel might be interested in receiving it.  If you do not wish to be included in the circulation list, please contact the Editor at the email address below.  Letters, opinions and articles relating to our profession are welcomed for the newsletter.

New readers this month:
- Too many to list!

[Top]

Spindrift

Engineers charged with oil dumping

NEW YORK 04 August ­ Two engineers from the South Korean-flagged bulker Sun New were indicted yesterday by a federal grand jury in New Jersey on oil dumping charges. The 31,253dwt ship is owned and operated by Sun Ace Shipping. Chief engineer Sig O and second engineer Mun Sic Wang were charged with conspiracy, obstruction of justice and a violation of the Act to Prevent Pollution from Ships in connection with the use of two bypass hoses to discharge sludge and oil contaminated bilge waste overboard, according to federal prosecutors. According to the indictment, the defendants used two hoses on the ship during a trip from Korea to Camden, New Jersey between 20 November and 31 December 2005, to circumvent required pollution prevention equipment and dump sludge and oily bilge waste into the ocean. The bypass equipment was discovered by the Coast Guard during an inspection of the vessel in Camden on 3 January. If convicted, each defendant faces a maximum statutory sentence of five years in prison on the conspiracy charge, five years in prison on the obstruction charge and another five years in prison on the violation of the Act to Prevent Pollution from Ships.

China approves yard, port plan

BEIJING 17 August ­ China's State Council has approved medium- and long-term plans for the shipbuilding industry as part of a national port plan, according to Xinhua news agency. Regarding shipbuilding, yesterday’s Council meeting recognised that China has a cost advantage and that the country’s competitive position should be strengthened over the next 10 years. The meeting called for moves to support technical innovation and develop human resources. China is the world’s third largest shipbuilder with a 14% market share. Regarding ports, the meeting identified a need for greater co-ordination between regions in the development of ports and for an understanding of how ports boost capacity to gain economies of scale. The plan focuses primarily on port development linked to coal, iron ore, oil and containers in the period to 2010. It also recognises that the rapid expansion of the Chinese economy requires a massive investment in ports in addition to investment already earmarked for expansion at Shanghai, Qingdao and Shenzhen.

Skuld looks east again

OSLO 17 August ­ Skuld, the Norwegian P&I Club that pulled back from a number of locations over the past decade, is to open an office in Singapore next month. Skuld has a growing membership in Southeast Asia and the move is in keeping with the club’s tradition of being close to its members, said Christopher Hall, formerly a lawyer at Skuld Hong Kong but recently appointed head of the new office in Singapore. One third of Skuld’s members are in the Asia Pacific region. “By being close to our members and located where they have their operations, we can provide them with better service,“ Hall explained. Skuld expanded rapidly in the mid-1990s but this led to a decline in profitability and the club underwent a period of restructuring that included the closure of a number of offices. In May, it reported a preliminary net profit of $42.1M for the 2005/05 underwriting year, an increase from $31.6M in the year before. Investment returns averaged 6.5% and technical result ­ profit from underwriting ­ amounted to $20.8M in the 2004/05 underwriting year. It is rated BBB+ with positive outlook by Standard & Poor’s, which means that debt issued by the club is regarded investment grade.

Steering gear deficiencies revealed

VANCOUVER 25 August ­ Canada's Transportation Safety Board has issued a marine safety advisory concerning steering hydraulics on C-class vessels in the BC Ferries fleet. In a letter to company president, David Hahn, the board's acting director of investigations, Ken Potter, said a steering incident aboard the Queen of Coquitlam revealed the ferry had no hydraulic back-up system, fail-safe device or low level alarms on the reservoir tanks. "Similar deficiencies have also been found on other C-class ferries," the advisory said. The acting director noted that when the ferries were constructed, between 1976 and 1981, this type of equipment was not required. However, since 1990, the Canada Shipping Act has required the installation of completely independent main and auxiliary steering gear and audio-visual low level alarms for hydraulic oil reservoirs. While four C- class ferries have recently been given refits, Potter said these ferries "finished their refits without upgrades to their steering gear systems."

Bunker testing claims refuted

SINGAPORE 25 August ­ Testing discrepancy has once again reared its head in Singapore, the world’s biggest bunker port. Parallel tests have apparently refuted claims of alleged low flash point fuels. Tests by DNV Petroleum Services of samples taken last week had indicated flash point below ISO 8217 requirement of 60 deg C. Under orders from Singapore’s Maritime and Port Authority, which investigated the claims, samples taken as per Singapore’s bunkering code of practice and retained by suppliers were tested by an accredited laboratory. The results showed that the flash point values for the three samples ranged between 62 deg C and 68 deg C, MPA confirmed to Fairplay, adding that all laboratories have been reminded of the importance of using official samples (SS CP60) for testing to obtain accurate results. While conceding that seal numbers of the tested samples were not recorded on the Bunker Delivery Notes, DNVPS has asserted that flash point values were “duly rechecked and verified.” Between January and July this year, Singapore received more than 15,500 vessel calls for bunkers.

(With thanks to Fairplay Daily News, news@fairplay.co.uk)

French slap huge fines on polluters

TWO colossal fines have been imposed by French courts for pollution offences.

In the first case, the master and operator of the containership Maersk Barcelona have been fined a total of Euros 800,000 by a court in Brest after a customs aircraft spotted the ship trailing a 60 km slick off Brittany. V.Ships, as manager of the vessel, will have to pay the bulk of the record fine. However, the Ukrainian master has been ordered to pay 10 per cent.

The second case involved the general cargoship Baltic Trader, which was found guilty of polluting French Mediterranean waters. A Marseille court has imposed a Euros 450,000 fine, of which Euros 20,000 must be paid by the master and the rest by the owner, Navaimar Transportes.

Meanwhile, the Norwegian chemical tanker operator Seatrans has been fined twice for the same pollution offence by the chemical carrier Trans Arctic once in Norway, the vessel's flag state, and again in France, where the illegal discharge occurred. The company failed to persuade a court in Brest to drop the prosecution despite being fined the equivalent of US$414,000 in Norway.

The French judge imposed a Euros 400,000 (US$468,000 fine), but suspended all but Euros 50,000 of it.
 

Call to cut paperwork

THE International Safety Management code would work better with less onboard paperwork, an expert group of the International Maritime Organisation has concluded. Its report found that new jobs have been created ashore to cope with the extra workload involved in ISM compliance, but few onboard.

The report also recommends greater involvement of seafarers in writing ISM manuals to make sure that they reflect the realities of daytoday ship operations. See SIRC column, P45
 

Safety at sea as many lives are lost

THE loss of some 1,400 lives at sea so far this year suggests that 2006 will be a bad year for safety at sea, Mr Efthimios Mitropoulos, head of the International Maritime Organisation, told the opening session of IMO's safety committee.

Many of those deaths happened on passenger ships, four of which were not signed up to the Safety of Life at Sea convention. Many of the losses appeared to be due to overloading, Mr Mitropoulos said. Such cases "fill one with despair, even anger, that in the 21st century there are still people in positions of authority" who allow ships to sail with too many passengers on board.

Insurers, too, are voicing concerns about the outlook for the year, following a spate of expensive casualties. Citing the recent explosion aboard the Hyundai Fortune, the fire on the cruise ship Star Princess, and the loss of the Canadian ferry Queen Of the North, a senior insurance executive said these accidents should serve as a "wake up call" to the industry.
 

Over 40% of boxes arrive late

Punctuality is poor in the container liner trade, a survey by London based consultants Drewry has revealed.

Monitoring 3,300 vessel calls on 23 routes between December 2005 and April, the firm found more than 40 per cent of ships arrived late 22 per cent by one day, 7 per cent by two and 12 per cent by three or more days,

Worst results were seen on African routes, plagued by port congestion and delays. Delmas, OT Africa Line and MACS Maritime Carrier were at the bottom of the league for punctuality. Some of the best results were achieved by Matson in the USPacific Island trade, Korea Maritime Transport in intraAsian services, and on Brazilian routes by Alianca.
 

Employers accused over certificates

SHIPPING industry employers are not doing enough to detect fake certificates of competence, the UK claims.

An analysis of cases of fraud detected by the country's maritime administration found that less than 10 per cent of them had been exposed at the recruitment and employment stage compared to 75 per cent when applications were assessed.

In most cases, it says, fraud could have been prevented and action taken if employers had routinely checked the certificates with the issuing administration before employing the seafarers concerned.
 

Agreement on tank coatings

THE first global standard for ballast tank coatings has been approved by the maritime safety committee of the International Maritime Organisation.

It will apply to corrosion prevention of dedicated seawater ballast tanks in all types of new ships of 5009 gt or more, and to double side skin spaces of bulk carriers of 150 metres or more carrying high density cargoes.

The new standard will be presented for formal approval at the committee's next meeting later in the year, with a target date for introduction of July 2008. It has been strongly resisted by Asian shipbuilding nations, such as South Korea and japan, on grounds of cost. The Community of European Shipyards Association also sees no need for identical corrosion protection standards for ships other than bulkers and tankers.

The International Association of Classification Societies has also made clear repeatedly that it will not be involved in coatings inspections.
 

Denial of shore leave investigated

THE International Transport Workers' Federation is planning to build a comprehensive database with which it hopes to discover how widespread is the denial of shore leave.

Since the 2001 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington and the introduction of tighter port security measures around the globe, seafarers have found it increasingly difficult to get ashore, particularly in the USA. Almost 60 per cent of respondents to a survey by the ITF and the UK officers' union, NUMAST, said they had been refused shore leave.
 

Seafarers need a good diet to do a good job, says P&I club

SEAFARERS not only need adequate rest, regular exercise and good hygiene to stay healthy and do their jobs well, they need a good diet too, says the North of England MI club.

"Given it is widely accepted that a wellnourished person is a healthy person," says senior executive Tony Baker, "it is thus vital for the health and happiness of ships' crews and ultimately the safety of their ships that individual crew members look after their bodies both at sea and ashore."

Common among seafarers, says the club, are obesity caused by eating too much; health problems caused by eating high amounts of sugar and processed food; and high diolesterol resulting from consumption of large quantities of eggs, meat and cheese.

In conjunction with the SM Lazo clinic in Manila, the club has produced a pyramid shaped diet chart ranging from "eat a little" foods, such as oils, salt and sugar, at the top, to "eat most" items, such as potatoes, rice, bread and cereal at the base. It also recommends seafarers to drink two litres a day of water, light juices or clear broth.

Two other P&I clubs the London and the UK have recently taken up the issue of seafarers' health. Responding to a rise in malaria cases, the London club is concerned that many seafarers may not appreciate the risks of contracting the disease, nor the need for a prompt diagnosis.

Malaria comes in several different strains. Some can be fatal if not treated quickly. Preventive medicines are available, it says, but it is important to pick the right one and to take it as instructed. However, none is 100 per cent effective, so seafarers are urged to take appropriate antimalaria treatment, try to avoid being bitten, and to seek medical help if they develop a fever.

The UK club has issued a cautionary note over the use of vibratory percussive tools, such as scalers, chippers or needle guns, which can lead to a disabling condition called hand arm vibratory syndrome. It is reminding owners to ensure that crew who routinely use such tools follow manufacturers' instructions.

(Ed:  The above also applies to marine surveyors!)
 

Report alleges 'wicked collusion'

A STRING of safety failings and mismanagement was responsible for the deaths of more than 1,000 people on board the ferry AI Salam Boccaccio 98, according to an Egyptian parliamentary report.

The 1970built roro vessel caught fire and sank in February while crossing the Red Sea from Saudi Arabia to Egypt with some 1,400 passengers and crew.

The report, the first of three, pointed to what it called a "wicked collusion" between the owner and Egypt's maritime safety agency that led to the disregarding of safety requirements. It also highlighted poor maintenance, overloading (the ferry is alleged to have frequently exceeded its legal capacity), and a buildup of water on the vehicle deck as a result of blocked drains. Further, it accused the owner's company, El Salam Maritime, of operating the vessel "despite serious defects".

The owner himself, Mr Mamdouh Ismail, is among six people charged with manslaughter over the disaster. He has also lodged the equivalent of US$57 million in a compensation fund for victims.

Publication in Lloyd's List shipping newspaper of a transcript of exchanges between the master and his crew, recovered from the vessel's voice data recorder, reveal the confusion and fear that existed on the bridge during the ferry's final four and a half hours. Most of the discussions concern the crew's valiant efforts to fight a fire on the vehicle deck rather than alerting the passengers or organising an evacuation. Only two hours after the fire broke out does the master, Captain Sayed Omar, ask whether everyone has a life jacket on.

Captain Omar, who is presumed drowned, has been criticised on a number of counts, among them failure to report the problems on

board to the owner or the authorities after the fire started, delay in sending a distress signal, and an apparent reluctance to communicate with nearby vessels.

A maritime safety expert, Dr Phil Anderson, told Fairplay magazine that the bridge transcript showed there was little semblance of a working safety management system on board. It painted a "stark and distressing picture", he said, of a master, officers and crew with little or no idea of how to respond to the most basic and fundamental emergency shipboard situation, i.e. a fire on board".

He added that the "indecision, lack of leadership, disorganised and unstructured response" suggested that there could not have been any meaningful or effective drills or exercises on board the ship as required by the International Safety Management code.
 

Biggest box ship, but not for long

THE world's biggest containership, the 9,449 teu COSCO Ningbo, has entered service on the AsiaEurope run. Owned by the Greek company Costamare and chartered by the China Ocean Shipping Company, it is 350m long, 43 m wide and is the first of five such vessels.

However, it will not hold the title for long. Danish company Maersk is expected soon to unveil a new generation of box ships with a theoretical capacity of 13,000 teu, but a practical size of some 9,600. The Israeli line Zim has ordered eight ships, four of them of 10,000 teu, and Mediterranean Shipping is reported to have signed letters of intent for a dozen 9,600 teu vessels.

This year is the 50th anniversary of the container, the brainchild of a former fuel station manager in the US, Mr Malcom McLean. He it was who first realised the potential of the container

for transporting disparate cargo. Before containerisation, loading and unloading was a dirty, dangerous and labour intensive business, with space wasted and goods frequently damaged. Now, goods generally arrive in the same condition in which they were sent.

The first boxes were shipped in April 1956 from Newark to Houston aboard a refitted tanker, paving the way for a revolution in global trade.

(With thanks to the The Sea, published by the Mission to Seafarers)
 

Nickel ore transportable moisture limit warning.

The International Bulk Journal contains a warning concerning shipments of unprocessed nickel ore from Indonesia and the Philippines.  The port of Tanjung Bali is specially mentioned.

It appears that the ore is merely sorted for size and stored in stockpiles before being shipped and that, other than evaporation or drainage during stockpiling, no other drying or processing is undertaken.  The material has a relatively high moisture content, 3040% by mass, and although the trade traditionally consists of short of voyages to Australia and

Japan, the obvious danger of liquefaction becomes more serious as the trade extends to include longer voyages.

A certificate should be issued by shippers showing the transportable moisture limit for nickel ore and the actual moisture content of the cargo which is to be shipped from the quay.  The question arises however whether this product (consisting of a mixture of very fine claylike particles and larger rocklike particles) can be accurately analysed for purposes of determining the transportable moisture limit and the actual cargo moisture content.

A somewhat basic (although not conclusive) test which can be used by Masters, and indeed as described in the Bulk Code, is to fill a can with material and repeatedly bang it.  The appearance of free water on the top of the material should give an indication that the material may not be suitable for shipment.

As usual, if Members are in doubt they should contact the Association or the local correspondent.

(Source International Bulk Journal, Issue 3, 2006)

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Contributions


Attending Conferences

Each year there are many conference advertised in various publications relating to our industry and some to our profession.  So why are there so many conferences/exhibitions every year and why attend them?  Some in our profession say that they don't want to listen to know-alls blowing their own trumpet, that they are a waste of time and won't learn anything new.  If this is the case, how come there are so many, often organised by our professional institutes, and so many in other professions?  Those who make such statements tend to be the 'workers' who depend on maximising their fee earning hours.  The irony is that the boss tends to be a regular conference delegates often giving some form of presentation at a conference to maximise the worker's earnings.

Those of us who run companies understand that there are many things which go towards running a successful marine surveying operation.  These include technical expertise, report writing skills, adaptability, perseverance, initiative, etc.  However, administrative skills are also required, eg, personnel management, book-keeping, recruitment, training and marketing.  The last is one of the more important of the skills required as it is this which very often brings in the work.  There is a misconception that marketing is mostly about advertising and promotion. True they form part of the marketing mix, but they are only a part. Marketing may be described as 'Finding out what your customers want and then supplying it at a profit'. Advertising tells your customers about what you have to offer but it is only useful in so far as the product or service matches their requirements.  Marketing also involves finding out about industry trends and conferences are another way of finding out about them, feedback questionnaires being another.

There are many different ways of advertising our services.  There is cold call advertising, ie, knocking on doors and selling our services.  This often needs some form of referral or prior contact to have some success.  Circulating company profiles by mail, email or on a web page are other ways.  Many events also provide the opportunity, eg, Client cocktail parties, entertaining the client to lunch/dinner and technical meetings, but these tend to be more localised forms of advertising.

Conferences place you firmly on the international map, being international forums for our services to both Clients and Peers.  They are attended by interested parties from all over the world.  The presenting surveyors come to expose their ideas and research findings to their peers.  The delegate surveyors come to learn more about our profession whilst the Client delegates come to find out who in our profession is interested in promoting quality of service.  The professional institutes organise and/or attend in order to promote our profession and to market their services.  All come to network with people in their profession.  Whilst there may be the occasional 'bullshit merchant' most can see through the facade and differentiate between those who are genuine in their intentions and knowledgeable in their presentation.

Ours is a practical, applied profession which often cannot be reported in words alone.  Conferences are an ideal opportunity to illustrate our work in pictorial form.  Some would suggest that by giving a paper at an international conference you are 'selling your seed corn', ie, showing others how to do it.  To protect your interests, the paper should show what you can do and its applications, not how you do it!  By presenting a paper at a conference you are showing that you are an expert in a particular field and sufficiently confident of this to be able to share the information with others.  If others decide to follow in the presenter's footsteps they will be some years behind and will never actually catch up with the expert who, if he continues his research and development, will always be that little bit ahead.

Conferences also provide an excellent opportunity for networking.  The coffee breaks and lunches are designed to allow the delegates and speakers to mix and exchange news/ideas.  The highlight of any conference is usually the open forum at which all involved openly discuss and exchange ideas/views on important issues affecting our profession.  These can be lively debates which often have to be stopped due to lack of time.

That the delegates will learn something new is certain.  The undersigned attends conferences regularly and never ceases to learn.  Hearing about others' expertise and experiences can often bring new ideas for entrepreneurs.  But the key fact here is that people are prepared to share information with others which can only improve skills and expertise, thereby improving and strengthening our profession.  Most of us in this profession tend to be entrepreneurs but need to stimulate our ideas from time to time.  A relevant conference can be invaluable in this respect.

Then there is the possibility of bringing in more clients and work.  At the recent AIMS conference I picked up three jobs and the prospect of more work on behalf of Australian clients.

Those who sit in offices and keep the information to themselves are not doing anybody any favours, particularly themselves!

Mike Wall


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Midships

Loyalty

When I was younger I asked my father how many different jobs he had had.  In his 20 years of working life he had been with three companies, averaging out at around 7 years with each.  Nowadays, we are lucky to keep our employees for more than two years.  However, one thing my father did pass on to me was the need for loyalty.  If a company had funded your training then it was your duty to stay with that company to allow them to recover the costs.  In those days, there were many marine engineer and deck cadets with lots of prospects so it was 'swings and roundabouts', ie, whilst a company lost some employees that it had trained, others were recruited that had already been trained by another company.  Unfortunately, this is not so today.  There are fewer trained marine engineers and deck officers out there with prospects of becoming marine surveyors so the training and relocation costs carry a big risk.  Maybe this is one of the reasons why employers are reluctant to fund marine surveyor training.  The situation is unlikely to change until there are sufficient qualified mariners out there for us to recruit.  Even then, there is no guarantee that they will remain loyal to their employers.

Mike Wall

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Scuttlebut

ISPS (affectionately referred to by many as the ISSPISS Code!)

Conflicts continue to develop with respect to the implementation of the ISPS Code.  Each month, we will be listing some of the ways that the code interferes with normal ship operations which in some cases could be considered as hazardous together with transgressions of interest .....

If you have any glaring contradictions, please let us know.

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Insurance News

Enclosed spaces

THE London P&I Club has warned of the potential dangers faced by seafarers on entering enclosed
 onboard spaces, in the event that proper safety procedures are not followed.

IMO recommends that a competent person should undertake a preliminary assessment of the risk that the atmosphere might be toxic, flammable or oxygen-deficient. And, writing in the latest issue of its StopLoss Bulletin, the club says, "The need for such measures has again been underlined by a recent case in which the responsible officer undertook a risk assessment prior to entry into a large chain locker, and concluded that there was no significant risk involving toxic or flammable vapours or gases.

"But the risk of oxygen depletion appears to have been misjudged, such that the oxygen content of the atmosphere was not tested prior to entry. The misjudgment became apparent when a crew member collapsed shortly after entering the chain locker. And since no such difficulty had been anticipated, his colleagues did not have breathing apparatus on standby.

"Nevertheless, tribute should be paid to the crew members who were present, who remembered their training and resisted the natural temptation to rush to the assistance of their stricken colleague, without protecting themselves first. And tribute should be paid also to the suitably equipped ship's emergency team, which was quickly able to recover the seaman, who has since made a full recovery.

"The owner's investigation concluded that the gradual process of oxidisation of the anchor cable and the compartment structure had depleted the oxygen in the chain locker, which was not adequately ventilated prior to entry."

The club concludes, "This near-miss serves as a reminder of the dangers of oxygen depletion in apparently innocuous enclosed spaces. And, while the successful rescue emphasises the importance of comprehensive safety and rescue training, the owners are considering whether personal gas detection monitors could further enhance safety procedures."

(With thanks to Maritime Advocate On Line: editor@afterofficehours.com)

Stowage of containers carrying valuable cargo

Whether stacked ashore or on board, the container should be stowed so that the doors of the container cannot be opened, ie, by ensuring that the doors face inwards into the container stack rather than out into an access or open area.  The container should not be stacked any lower than the second tier and should be stowed randomely in the stacks.  The container should then be inpsected twice a day to ensure that the seals are intact, that the doors are blocked from opening and the container has not been damaged or shows signs of a quick repair.  If under deck, the container should be stowed with the doors directly facing a bulkhead so that there is no access to the container.

At the port of discharge, the process shold be reversed with independent surveyors inspecting the container and fixing their own seal immediately upon the container being landed.  Preferably, the container should be landed directly on to a truck and taken from the ship's side to the receiver's warehouse.  Where this is not possible, it should be stowed ashore as per the above criteria and inspected again when the container is delivered to the receiver.  Again, it is preferred that the carrier agrees with the receiver that any storage ashore should be at the receiver's risk.

Where any of the inspections gives surveyors cause for concern that the contents of the container may have been tampered with, they should immediately fix another seal and notify all parties, including the owners, stevedores, container terminal operators, customs and cargo interests seeking a joint inpsection.  The container should, if pssible, not be taken to a general stack until the joint survey has been carried out.

(With thanks to Signals, the loss prevention  newsletter of the North of England P&I Club)

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Wig & Gown

Incompetent Stevedores

There should soon be a reduction in claims for cargo damage caused by stevedores appointed by charterers following a recent arbitration award.  Whilst stevedores are often appointed by, or on behalf of, charterers, their negligence is often deemed to be the responsibility of owners so far as  damage to or loss of cargo is concerned.

Charterers are usually liable for stevedores' negligence only if it can be shown that they appointed negligent stevedores.  In the past, it has been generally assumed that this  meant competent or incompetent stevedores in the context of the general standard of stevedoreing at that particular port.  This would mean that charterers are not liable if they appoint incompetent stevedores at a port where the general level of competence of stevedores is low.

However, a recent arbitration award has thrown doubt on that assumption.  The tribunal asked itself what a 'competent' stevedore was, and acceted a dictionary definition of competency as being ' the ability and sill to do what is needed'.  The stevedores in question stole and damaged the bagged sugar cargo, tearing nearly 3% of the bags.  The tribunal accepted the owner's postion that stevedores who do this cannot be regarded as being competent.

The decision suggests an objective global standar of competence, not a standard which depends on the general quality of stevedores in the port concerned.  In particular it should assist all those carrying bagged cargoes, both sugar and rice, into ports where the standard of stevedoring still leaves much to be desired.

(With thanks to Signals, the loss prevention  newsletter of the North of England P&I Club)
 

Dispute Resolution Clause

The status of an arbitration clause on the back of a bill of lading has long been in dispute in Chinese maritime law. in general, Chinese courts have tended to deny it any binding force so as to maintain their court's jurisdiction. More recently, however, some exceptions have emerged.

Article 5 of theArbitration Law of the People's Republic of China'provides: 'If the parties have concluded an arbitration agreement and one party institutes an action in a people's court, the people's court shall not accept the case unless the arbitration agreement is null and void.' Furthermore, Article 95 of the'Maritime Code of the Peopie's Republic of China' provides that: 'Where the holder of the bill of lading is not the charterer, the rights and obligations of the carrier and the holder of the bill of lading shall be govemed by the clauses of the bill of lading. However, if the clauses of the voyage charterparty are incorporated into the bill of lading the relevant clauses of the voyage charter party shall apply.'

On the basis of these Articles, and providing there is a clear arbitration clause in the bill, carriers often challenge the Chinese courts' jurisdiction when facing a claim by the bill of fading holder the shipper and consignee on the grounds that there is an arbitration clause in the document.

Chinese law does not expressly deny the effect of the arbitration clause in the bill of lading and, in practice, there do exist some particular cases in which the courts have affirmed the enforceability of the clause. However, in order to protect the interests of Chinese shippers, consignees and cargo underwriters and in order to maintain the jurisdiction of Chinese courts, they are generally inciined to deny the enforceability of the clause.

Standard Term The grounds for ruling against the carrier will often rest on the following points:

1) The clause is a standard term printed unilaterally by the carrier, and agreement was not expressly confirmed in writing by the cargo interest the shipper. For this reason, the clause should not be deemed as the arbitration agreement reached by both parties in accordance with the provisions of Article 5 of 'Arbitration Law'.

2) The clause is a standard term printed unilaterally by the carrier, and according to the relevant provisions of the'Contract Law of PRC'dealing with standard terms, the party seeking to impose standard terms must abide by principles of fairness, and request the other party to note the exclusion or restriction of its liabilities in reasonable ways. Foreign arbitration clauses restrict the rights of shippers who are in a relatively weak position to claim against the carrier. For this reason, the clause should not have binding force on the cargo interests.

3) At most, the clause is an agreement between the carrier and the shipper. Because the assignee of the bill of lading did not participate in the conclusion of the agreement, and could not have been aware of the clause before accepting the bill of lading, there cannot have been any agreement between the assignee and the carrier. A consignee who obtained ownership of the goods through assignment of the biii of lading should not be bound by the clause.

4) The arbitration clause is a procedural matter that is not germane to the carriage of goods by sea per se. Therefore, after assignment of the bill of lading, the clause specified or expressly incorporated should have no binding force upon the legal assignee.

5) In the case of dispute over the contract of carriage of goods between the carrier and a subrogated insurer, the insurer did not conclude the arbitration clause, and he has therefore had no opportunity to refer the dispute to arbitration. Therefore, the insurer should not be bound by such clauses in the bill of lading.

Law System China follows a continental iaw system where the judges use codified rules when deciding a case. It is, therefore, inevitable that there will be different interpretations of the relevant law, leading to inconsistent judgements.

Even so, experience in maritime litigation suggests that courts at every level in China are generally inclined to deny the enforceability of a foreign arbitration clause in the bill of lading, although the grounds on which judgements are made by the courts may vary.

Furthermore, although there have been theoretical debates, our case studies indicate that it is hard to assert that there are any differences in the attitude of Chinese courts towards the foreign arbitration clause specified in the liner bill of lading and the foreign arbitration clause incorporated in the bill of lading issued under the charter party.

Conclusion Notwithstanding the above analysis, we have recently seen a few cases where Chinese courts have heid that the arbitration clause contained in the bill of lading binds the holder of the bill of lading. Generally, it appears that an arbitration clause wili be _given effect if:

1) the clause is clearly printed on the bill of lading (not simply incorporated into the bill of lading); and

2) the wording of the ciause is clear to the effect that all disputes under the bill of lading should be referred to arbitration.The place of the arbitration and the arbitration rules must also be clearly specified.

Whether or not such judgements will become a new trend in Chinese maritime trials in the near future remains to be seen.

(With thanks to the Britannia Steam Ship Insurance Association Ltd publication 'NEWS'.)

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Education and Training

Why not attend a training course or a conference?  They could be beneficial!

******

Far East Maritime advances learning

MANILA 01 August ­ Far East Maritime Foundation, the Philippines’ top training school, has inaugurated a new training centre to stretch its lead position in the sector. The facility, which was declared open in a ceremony last weekend, occupies two hectares overlooking Cavite’s shoreline 55km southeast of Manila, and it opens for business this month. Capt Constancio Salasab, Far East Maritime president, told crewing agents and other guests that the centre, which enables actual practice of theories learned, features more advanced structures and training facilities for STCW-mandated courses in firefighting and other IMO-mandated courses. Establishment of the 10M peso ($192,000) site came in response to the shortage of qualified seafarers to be trained before signing onboard, Salasab said. The inauguration, which was graced by Norwegian Maritime Directorate officer Trine Hagen, coincided with Far East Maritime’s 14th anniversary.

(With thanks to Fairplay Daily News, news@fairplay.co.uk)

IIMS short courses

IIMS is offering the following short courses are planned for the coming months starting in September. Any member, who wishes to add their name to the list of participants, should contact the IIMS Administration Office as soon as possible.

Courses Available

Practical Boat Surveying (5 day course)    25 ­ 29 Sep
The Theory of Surveying Wooden Craft    Sep 06
The Recreational Craft Directive     Oct 06
The Theory of Surveying FRP/GRP Craft    Nov 06
Introduction to Corrosion & Coatings in the Marine Sector  Dec 06

Contact:  iims@compuserve.com

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Epistles

I first came to the Marine Insurance & Surveying Forum in 2004, in Bangkok, not quite knowing what to expect. 
To my pleasant surprise I met some interesting Marine Industry Officials and Surveyors I had not seen for a long time, made contact with surveyors from other countries where we had no contact at all till that time, and best of all, in the ensuing 6 months, derived a reasonable network directly as a result of people I met and became friends with during the Forum, which in turn also increased our marine activities.
In 2005, in Kuala Lumpur, I again increased my network of friends in the industry and in the months to follow enhanced our marine coordination and survey work with the assistance of our further new contact made at the Forum from my new friends.

There is no doubt that attending the Marine Insurance & Surveying Forum has paid for itself many times over since my first attendance and I look forward to being a continuing delegate for years to come.
I would urge, anyone looking to increase their business contacts, their international network and in turn, their revenue, to positively attend this years Forum at Mumbai, India.  You are almost guaranteed to come out ahead ­ both exposure wise and financially.

I look forward to welcoming all of you to our home ­ India.

Capt Satish Prakash Anand
Managing Director
Henderson International (India) Pvt. Ltd.

People

Obituary

It is with great sadness that we report the death of Neville Hall, formerly Chief Surveyor for BMM, on 2 August 2006.  Neville had been suffering from a debilitating disease for many months.   I worked with Neville at Warsash for five years and was pleased to be associated with him when he joined BMM.  He was an honest and likeable man.  He had a keen interest in the development of marine surveying being involved in the design of ulstrasound equipment and the first to introduce risk assessment to condition surveys.  I was honoured to be his friend.  He will be greatly missed.

Mike Wall

******

We are pleased to report that the majority of New Zealand marine surveyors have voted to join IIMS and thus become one of the first countries to do so 'en bloc'.
 
Barry Thompson, who is the appointed NZ representative of IIMS reports that surveyors are now being asked to cough up the membership fees and a proposed membership committee will be established shortly.  It is likely that there will be three working groups established, ie, Nautical and Cargo Surveyors, Small Craft Surveyors (including SSM), Engineer Surveyors and Naval Architects.
 
For more information please contact:
 
Barry Thompson      shipmaster@xtra.co.nz
Wayne Shaw             wayne@jchl.org
John Macdonald      macmarine@xtra.co.nz

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Books and Videos


'Cargo Ventilation - A Guide to Good Practice' North of England P&I Club.  Available from:
risk.management@nepia.com

The book covers a difficult subject even for experienced mariners, ie, when to ventilate and when not to ventilate.  It answers many of the questions that often arise.  Consists of sections giving a quick reference, practical guidance and practical considerations together with the scientific background for those who want more detailed information.  It also clarifies some of the myths surrounding ventilation, such as whether to ventilate at night or in the rain.

NOTE:  For all those wishing to increase their database of information, why not contact the P&I Clubs and ask to be placed on their mailing list for their loss prevention publications?

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Conference Reports

Australasian Institute of Marine Surveyors, 2006 Biennial Conference, 17 August 2006, Carlton Crest Hotel, Sydney, Australia.

It never ceases to amaze me how many experts there are available for us to call on in our times of need.  We were fortunate to be enlightened by seven of the most interesting and experienced people involved in the movement and care of reefer containers and their cargoes.  As a consequence, the event was oversubscribed with some prospective delegates having to be turned away due to the size of the venue.  Unfortunately, in Sydney you have to book the venue a year in advance as they are much in demand.  Otherwise, the organisers did an excellent job of keeping 70+ attendees enthralled, fed and watered.  The networking was also useful, your editor having picked up three jobs from various delegates whilst increaseing our circulation!

Also encouraging was the number of younger delegates who were clearly there to learn from the 'Masters of their trade'.

The theme of the conference was 'Reefer Cargoes - Consignor to Consignee'.  Papers were:

'Constuction and Handling' by Mr Peter Creeden, Hamburg Sud Australia Pty Ltd.
We heard about the history of the design, sizes, construction, equipment and accessories of reefer containers.

'Machinery Operation' by Mr Ray Munro, Managing Director, Feliba Pty Ltd.
The sign of an expert is somebody who can make a complex subject sound simple and so was the case with Ray who explained how the reefer machinery worked, including the IRC microprocessor and the part it plays in controlling temperature with a brief description of a PTI.

'Container Loading' by Mr Tim Mason, National Sales Manager, OOCL.
Tim covered:
Information passed to Shipping Lines.
Steps prior  to loading a container.
Packaging of reefer cargo.
Container stowage and air circulation.
Reference material and training.
Excellent photos accompanied a well prepared and informative presentation.

'Carriage on Ship' by Mr Robert Sangster, National Reefer Coordinator, Maersk.
Robert's dry Scottish humour together with his wealth of knowledge of the subject, people and organisations we have to deal with kept the audience entertained.  We learned about the many different types of cargoes carried in reefer containers and the varied protocol requirements during shipping, particularly the USDA probe positions for different destinations.

'Out-turn condition problems' by Mr Steven Morris, Post Harvest.
When somebody reports staining, mould or browning words are not enough.  You need to see the real thing of decent photos.  This was one of those presentations where we saw examples and learned a lot about the major problems seen in fruit, vegetables and fresh produce, eg, rots and decay both affecting the surface and internal part of produce, surface blemishes, discolouration or pitting, bruising, greasiness, internal colour (browning, glassiness) and texture changes, sprouting, weight loss, softening, loss of crispness and withering, undesirable colour changes i.e. yellowing, undesirable change of shape (compression curvature etc), undesirable flavour changes, i.e. tainting,
package damage.

'Export Quarantine Requirements' by Mr Fred Lloyd, Export Facilitator, AQIS, NSW/ACT.
It is a sad fact that just as we get to the point of knowing almost all there is to know about a subject we become unemployable due to our age!  This is clearly Fred's current problem, having a wealth of knowledge and a great desire to help Aussie exporters, he has been stood down by his Government employers.  Good to see that this had not affected his sense of humour and ability to get his subject across to the delegates.  If you want to know the whats, whens, wheres and hows of exporting cargoes, this is the man to contact.  He should clearly set himself up as a consultant!

'New Developments in Refrigerated Transport Research'  by Dr David Tanner, Food Science Australia.
Risks are increased from 'down under' with the need to transport products across the equator to our northern hemisphere markets. With the high surface area to volume ratio of containers (in comparison to other transport systems), and the exposure of these surfaces to often extreme environmental conditions, opportunity for risk manifestation to occur increases.  David explained some of the risks associated with reefer cargo transport and how to reduce these with appropriate packaging and other devices.

(ED: If you intend to attend a conference which you believe would be of interest to our readers, we would be grateful to receive a short synopsis.)

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IMO Conventions

New amendments to SOLAS

A number of amendments to SOLAS entered intor force on 1 July 2006, some being summarise below:

-  Lifeboats (except freefall) sall be launched for manoeuvring drill or tunred out at abadong ship drills without crew on board (MSC.152(78)).

-  New requirements are introduced for maintenance, testing and inspections of life saving equipment. (MSC/Circ.1093).

-  An immersion suit is required for every person board (MSC.152(78)).

-  Daily reports are to be sent by ships on international voyages (MSC.142(77)).

-  A new regulation clarifies that owners and charterers should not restrict a master's decision necessary for safety of life at sea (MSC.153(78)).

-  A revised Chapter XII of SOLAS is introduced - Additional safety measures for bulk carriers - that includes a ban on alternate hold loading and new standards and guidelines for inspection and maintenance (MSC.170(79)).

******

The first sulphur (SOx) Emission Control Area (SECA) which covers the Baltic Sea area, entered into force on 19 May 2006.  Ships within the area must now comply with the provisions of MARPOL Annex VI, including using marine fuel with a maximum sulphur content of 1.5% by mass (m/m).

The bunker industry has advised there there is sufficient quantity of low sulphur fuel available worldwide for the anticipated demand.  Owners and charteres should plan ahead to ensure thst supplies are available when and where they are needed.  However, incidations are that a price premium of US$20-70 a tonne will have to be paid for such fuel depending on location and quality.

******

IMO regularly updates its web page with new and amended conventions:  http://www.imo.org/

Here you can browse through the various publications that are available and buy those which interest you. To navigate the publications you can either select one of the categories or use the advanced search.

For those of you who might also be interested, UK M Notices are available at:  www.mcagency.org.uk

******

CoFR changes

THE US Coast Guard has announced statutory changes that will affect the financial responsibility of vessel owners and operators for oil pollution from their vessels. Existing Coast Guard regulations relating to Certificates of Financial Responsibility (CoFRs) will remain in effect until amended, until which time there will be a difference between the maximum insurance required under the regulations and the maximum potential liability for oil spill costs and damages under the law.

More info at:  http://a257.g.akamaitech.net/7/257/2422/01jan20061800/edocket.access.gpo.gov/2006/E6-12936.htm

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Future Events

If you have a marine related conference coming up, let us know so that we can mention it below:

SCMS holds a series of Buffet Lectures each year. The lectures cover a wide range of subjects that are of interest to Members and their guests.  They are held in London usually starting at 18:00 hrs. The winter programme will be published on the SCMS website http://www.scmshq.org  Those interested should send an email to sec@scmshq.org to be included on the announcement list.  CPD certificates are available for those attending.

24, 25 and 26 September 2006. NAMS Annual Conference, Radisson Hotel Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco. For additional information go to nams-cms.org.

20-23 Sept 2006.  The Society of Accredited Marine Surveyors, Inc® 2006 Annual Conference & Educational Training Symposia, The Holiday Inn by the Bay Hotel & Convention Center, 88 Spring Street, Portland, Maine, 04101-3924. Reservations: +1-800-345-5050

12 & 13 October 2006.  The 2006 Asian Marine Insurance and Surveying Forum -
'Marine Surveyors - Guardians of Quality Shipping'.  J W Marriott Hotel, Mumbai, India.
Info:  marine@asiaconference.biz

10 & 11 November 2006.  'Collision - Controlling the chaos'.  The Hilton Hotel Newcastle, Gateshead.  Email:  niseminar@nepia.com

4-6 December 2006, Seatrade Middle East Maritime, Dubai World Trade Centre, UAE.
Info:  www.seatrade-middleeast.com

6-8 February 2007.  Asian Shipping & Work Boat 2007.  Hall 401, Suntec Singapore.
Info at:  marinefo@baird.com.au or www.baird.com.au

24-26 April 2007, Cruise & Ferry 2007, ExCeL London, London, UK
Info:  www.cruiseferryex.com

 ******

Some maritime conference web sites for you to keep up to date:

http://www.cconnection.org/
http://www.reedexpo.com/
http://www.grc.uri.edu/
http://www.wholelife.com/
http://www.ship-technology.com/exhibitions/
http://www.apmaritime.com/
http://www.lloydslistevents.com/
http://www.marineexpo.com/
http://www.seaworkexhibition.com
http://www.toc-events.com/

[Top]

Web Sites

NO NEW WEB SITES THIS MONTH

If your (marine surveying) company has a web site, let us know and we will try to mention it.  Below are some web pages we believe might be useful to marine surveyors:
http://www.maib.gov.uk/publications/investigation_reports/
The UK MAIB web page giving the reports on accident investigations - A must read page for all surveeyors!

http://www.shiptalk.com/shiptalk_rss_feed.asp
RSS Feeds for the Shiptalk newsletter.

www.nationlalcorrosionservice.org
National Physics Laboratory – National Corrosion Service

AIS information:
www.AISlive.com  (does not include SE Asian waters)

Canadian Coastguard:
http://www.cgc.gc.ca

International Bunker Industry Association
www.ibia.net
Good information and a good newsletter.

Admiralty and Maritime Law Guide
www.admiraltylawguide.com
Focus on US law, but still interesting

International Bunker Industry Association
www.ibia.net
Good information and a good newsletter.

Admiralty and Maritime Law Guide
www.admiraltylawguide.com
Focus on US law, but still interesting

Houston Marine Insurance Seminars
www.houstonmarineseminar.com
Lots of papers and presentations to download

IMO Country/Port/Terminal info and contact numbers:
http://www.tdconcepts.com/

Tactical Defense Concepts (TDC) - a good section on security alerts and analysis:
Overseas Security Advisory Council (OSAC)
http://www.ds-osac.org/
(OSAC was established in 1985 by the US Department of State to foster the exchange of security related i nformation between the US Government and the Amercian private sector operating abroad.  Administered by the Bureau of Diplomatic Security, OSAC has developed into an enormously successful joint venture for effective security cooperation.  Through OSAC, the American private sector, including colleges and universities, is provided timely information on which to make informed corporate decisions on how best to protect their investment, facilities,personnel and intellectual property abroad.)

Those of you who use Equasis may also be interested to hear of three other web pages with similar information:

www.parismou.org/
www.tokyo-mou.org/
www.uscg.com

www.shiptalk.com/
-  Designed by seafarers for seafarers. Deck, engine, catering, hotel or concession, seafarers past and present, all are welcome. Seafaring is a global profession and we extend the hand of friendship to seafarers of all nationalities.

www.shippingfacts.com
-  Provides basic information about the structure of the shipping industry, its contribution to the world economy and its safety/environmental performance.  The site also contains links with more detailed sourcdes of information about the industry.

www.imarest.org
-  Website of the Institute of Marine Engineering, Science & Technology.

www.nepia.com
- A fully searchable,  and provides full details of the club and its ships. It also features a new service from  the club's risk management department, called , which summarises shipping industry developments and offers links to primary sources, including the Maritime Advocate. Newsnet is updated weekly, or sometimes more frequently.

www.numast.org
- Web site for the National Union of Marine Aviation and Shipping Transport Officers who publish the monthly NUMAST Telegraph.

www.aimsurveyors.com.au
- Web site for the Australian Institute of Marine Surveyors. www.friendsreunited.co.uk/).
- Here you can register some personal information, together with your school/college and the year you left to go on to greater things.  You can also enter your nickname in school, which class you were in, your mates' names and what you've done since leaving.  You may be one day surprised to receive a message out of the blue from an old school chum.

www.marine-society.org
- The Marine Society is a worthy marine charity offering many services to mariners.


www.imo.org/
- International Maritime Organisation web page.  Keep up to date with new conventions.

www.lrfairplay.com
- Scroll down the home page until you see the heading 'Free Access' appear on the left hand side. Clicking on the words 'shipping sites' takes you to a search function. You can then search either by company name or by category (there is a 'consultants and surveyors' category, for example) or by country. Or by a combination - so you could search for consultants/surveyors in Australia beginning with the letter 'D', for example.  That pulls up a list; if you then click on the word 'free' in the right hand column you are linked through to the relevant website.

If your readers know of any companies with sites that we do not list (or that we have an out-of-date address for) we would like to have details to update the database.

http://www.acms-usa.com/
- The Association of Certified Marine Surveyors

www.equasis.org/
- Database containing safety-related information on the worlds merchant fleet from both public and private sources.  Gives ship's particulars, Class Soc, P&I Club and PSC inspection record.  Very useful for surveyors looking for vessel particulars before carrying out a survey.

http://www.femas.org
- The Federation of European Maritime Associations of Surveyors and Consultants

www.iims.org.uk/
- International Institute of Marine Surveyors

http://www.lloydsagency.com
- General access to the directory of the world network of Lloyd's Agents.

www.mariners-l.freeserve.co.uk
- Merchant Navy records on UK MN vessels and information merchant seamen, logs, agreements and crew lists, MN apprentices and deaths at sea

www.marinesupportonline.com
- Marine Support On Line

www.marinesurvey.org/
- Society of Accredited Marine Surveyors

www.nams-cms.org/
- National Association of Marine Surveyors

www.sas-intl.com
- Safety at Sea International

www.scmshq.org/
- Society of Consulting Marine Engineers and Ship Surveyors

www.sname.org/
- Society of Naval Architects and Marine Engineers.

WHY NOT ADVERTISE HERE.  THIS IS THE FIRST PLACE OUR READERS GO TO!

[Top]

From the Poop Deck

About the British

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch  American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?  Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

******

Some doubtful definitions ....

1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris ... are in-Seine.
 
2. A backward poet writes...inverse.
 
3. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
 
4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
 
5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
 
6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
 
7. A man needs a mistress...just to break the monogamy.
 
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 
9. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
 
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
 
11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
 
12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
 
13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
 
14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
 
15. The definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
 
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
17. In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
 
18. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
 
19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 
20. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
 
21. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
 
22. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
 
23. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
 
24. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
 
25. Local Area Network in Australia: ... the LAN down under.
 
26. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
 
27. Every calendar's days are numbered.
 
28. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
 
29. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
 
30. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
 
31. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
 
32. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
 
33. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
 
34. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
 
35. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
 
36. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
 
37. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

******

Thought for the day:

There is more money being spent  on breast implants and Viagra today than on  Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there  should be a large elderly population with perky boobs  and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of  what to do with them!

******

And finally ......

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name  of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.  Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call  Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for  Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of  government experts, it recently announced that it has  settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also  considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin,  Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be  available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi  Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.  It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself  a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft  drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of  "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned  "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the  name of: MOUNT & DO.

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Disclaimer:  Articles and reports reflect the views of the individuals who prepared them, and, unless indicated expressly in the text, do not necessarily represent the views of the editor.  Whilst every effort has been made to ensure that the information in this publication is accurate, the editor makes no representation or warranty, expressed or implied, as to the accuracy, completeness or correctness of such information.  The editor accepts no responsibility whatsoever for any loss, damage or other liability arising from any use of this publication or the information which it contains.  The contents of the publication are the responsibility of the editor alone.

News, views, enquiries, suggestions, articles and letters for inclusion in future editions of FLASHLIGHT may be sent to:

Mike Wall
Tel:  +852 2259 3150
Fax: +852 2259 3151
Email: mikewall@pacific.net.hk

 
     
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